When Insults Had Class


Insults had class

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison,” and he said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A member of Parliament  to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some  unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “on whether I  embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”        Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to thedictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Poor Faulkner.Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”  – Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;  I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the  smallest idea of any man I know.”  – Abraham Lincoln

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you haveone.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” –  Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made  man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”   Robert Redford

“In order  to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some  cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics asa drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. ”        – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly  wonderful evening but this wasn’t it.” – Groucho  Marx

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